Ladybug Farms: Kicking Fear In the Booty

We did it!

Yesterday I took the training wheels off Joy's bike for the first time. She was ready to try riding a 2-wheeler because I had promised we would buy her a new bike as soon as she learned because her current bike is too small. She got on the seat, put her feet on the peddles, I held onto her shirt to catch her if she fell, and she took off. She rode her bike all by herself for about 50 yards and then she stopped and promptly broke out into tears.

"I can't do this! I'm too afraid!"

"Joy, you ARE doing this. You just rode your bike all by yourself. You don't need to be afraid because I will catch you if you fall."

Eventually she mustered up the courage to try again, but the whole time I was helping her, she was crying because she was scared. Once we were back in the house, I told her how proud I was of her for trying even though she was scared.

And then I told her, "You know, Joy. A year ago I wouldn't have taken you kids to the cottage all by myself because I was too scared. But I really wanted to take you to see the frozen lake so I told myself, 'Self, you are going to take the kids on vacation and there is nothing to be afraid of.' And I did it! Sometimes we have to do things even though we're afraid. You just have to tell your fear to take a hike."

The kids thought that was hilarious and started yelling, "Fear, I'm going to kick you in the booty!" And many other variations.

Collecting rocks at Lake Michigan

Which brings me to our grand adventure this week. I took the kids to the cottage for three days all by myself. For most people, this would not be a very big accomplishment. For me, this was monumental. Up until two years ago I had never, ever, stayed home alone by myself. Whenever Hubby had to be gone overnight, I always took the kids to my Grandma's house. And then two years ago Hubby ended up with cellulitis and had to spend a week in the hospital. At the same time my Grandma was in Colorado visiting family. Meaning--I had no where to stay other than by myself at home.

Since then I have no longer gone to Grandma's when Hubby was gone. But I also hadn't ever purposely stayed home alone, let alone gone on an overnight trip with the kids by myself. But I really wanted the kids to see the lake frozen over, and the only way that was going to happen was if I took the kids. So I mustered up my courage and said we were going. I refused to allow myself to think about all the scary possibilities of what could happen. We packed up and shipped out on Monday.

By Monday afternoon we were out on the lake. The kids thought it was pretty awesome. "We could walk across the entire lake!" Yes, we could, if we really wanted to walk 16 miles. But I was happy with about a half mile out on the lake before turning around.

Building a snow castle

I took the kids to the beach to collect rocks, but the wind was so strong that the waves were crashing over the beach, not to mention it being down right freezing despite our winter gear. We went to the park where Joy built a snow castle: "Since I can't build a sand castle, I will build one out of snow!" Our last goal was to go sledding, but despite all the snow on the ground (about six inches), the hills were bare.

Nothing like a little broccoli for dinner

I am pretty darn proud of myself for taking the kids on vacation alone. For actually being able to sleep at night. For refusing to allow myself to worry about ax-murderers and heart attacks. As my kids would say, I kicked my fear in the booty!