Monday, January 14, 2013

Yes Jar

Sometimes I'm a little slow when it comes to figuring out what God is trying to speak to me.  This is one of those cases.

A while ago I felt God telling me that He had things for me to do.  But no matter how much I prayed, how long I read my Bible, how many times I sat in my prayer spot, I could not figure out what He was asking me to do.

Last week He told me: There's no when? or why? or how?  Just--Go!

The next day He said:  Do it.  Stop waiting.

And then the next day:  Love does.  Clearly I need to do something.  Tell me what, Lord, and I'll do it.

I wrestled with this all last week.  Sunday at the prayer meeting it just kept coming back to me.  Be a light.  Shine in the darkness.  You've got the training, now get to work.

I came home slightly encouraged but mostly confused.  Do what?  WHAT???  Just tell me what to do already and I'll do it!!!  I dragged Hubby into the living room and made him sit there while I dumped all my thoughts on him.  I want to do something for God, God is clearly calling me to do something, but I don't know what!  Tell me, Hubby!  What am I supposed to do?!

And then it clicked.  That missing piece.  My derp-derp moment.

Here I'd been waiting for God to tell me what grand gesture He had for me.  I was waiting for something big and important--like be a missionary to Africa.  Or start an outreach.  Or take in orphans and refugees.

But I missed the whole point.  God hasn't been knocking me over the head all this time because He has some huge, momentous thing for me to do.  He's been trying to tell me that He's looking for me to say "Yes."  Just a simple "yes."  Yes, I will call that person.  Yes, I will invite that person over for dinner.  Yes, I will sign up to serve at that event.  Yes, I will do what You ask of me, no matter how small.  Yes, I will stop sitting on my duff when You call me to action.  Yes, I will stop looking for that big, important, grand gesture and I will instead focus on the daily little things that You call me to do.

It seems so...small.  So...ordinary.  So...simple.  Yes.  Really, God?  That's it?  That's all You want from me?  Yes.

It's easy to think that something so small and ordinary isn't really making much of a difference.  I have a friend who's a missionary in Madagascar.  I have friends who run entire outreaches to high school and college aged people.  Now these people are making an impact.  Me?  I'm just saying Yes.  What difference is that going to make?

Enter the Yes Jar.  I need to see this visually.  So I have a jar, and I have coins.  Every time I say Yes to God, every time He asks me to do something and I do it, I will put a coin in my Yes Jar.  At the end of the year I will add up all the coins so I can (hopefully) see that it's no small thing to say Yes.  Today it seems like just one tiny Yes.  But add it to a regular habit of saying Yes to God and it adds up to a big pile of Yeses.  

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