The Problem Is Me

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You know that moment when you realize that the problems you are having with your child, the ones that have been going on for a long time, the things that are destroying your relationship, are your fault? Ya, that was me this week.

I have a child that I have a hard time understanding because we are very different people.  Or I take them at face value because that's the way I am and only later realize there is so much more going on under the surface.  Or this child is constantly doing things that are normal for a child, but drive me crazy.  So I find myself constantly correcting, nagging, criticizing.

And then I am praying, asking God, what do I do with this child who seems to have a low self esteem, who thinks they are stupid and can never do anything right.  Give me wisdom, God.  I don't know what to do.  Hahaha!!!

God is awesome.

"Hey, Lisa.  Guess what?  The answer to your problem is simple.  You're the problem."

Right.

"Stop correcting.  Stop nagging.  Stop criticizing.  Unless it's actual sin, let it go.  When you see something good, say so.  When your child comes to you to tell you about their latest creation, stop and listen.  Ask questions.  Show interest and encourage them.  So what if it's about something you could care less about.  It means something to your child so it's important.  Give more hugs.  Give more smiles.  Give more attention that is positive.  When your child says they are stupid, give them a list of reasons why they aren't."

So this is what I am working on right now.  Strengthening my relationship with my kid.  Learning to understand them better.  Engaging in what is important to them.  Curbing my tongue when it's just something that's annoying and not actually wrong.

I prayed for wisdom and I got it.  Even if it wasn't what I was expecting.