Monday, November 12, 2012

I Broke My Heart

Joy has this habit of clinging to me whenever I have to leave for an evening meeting.  She hangs on to my leg, blocks me from walking out of my bedroom door, and begs me to stay home because she will miss me.  The last time I had a meeting she told me that if I left, I would break her heart.

The next morning I asked her if her heart was broken now and she laughed and said no.  That she was fine after all.

While Joy's heart might not be broken, apparently I broke mine.  Last week when I was having those weird heart beats, I thought it was a fluke and would go away.  My heart just kept on beating funny all through the rest of the week.  I called to make a doctor's appointment on Friday and today I went in.

The doctor listened to my heart and said that I have an extra beat that's causing my heart to fill up more than normal which is why I'm getting the booms.  I threw out the fact that I'd had an allergic reaction to salmon last Monday just in case it might be relevant and her eyes light up and she says, Ah!  Her guess is that I somehow threw off my heart with my allergic reaction and I just have to wait for it to right itself.  I had an EKG in the office, where of course my heart didn't cooperate, so I have to get a 24 hour halter monitor to make sure that my heart issue is really what she thinks it is--either a PVC or PAC, both of which are totally harmless.

Prior to going to the doctor, I felt really, really anxious.  I had that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach and thought I might throw up.  I know that my internet research led me to believe I was dealing with a PVC and that it was almost positively nothing to worry about, but that's easier said than done when you're talking about your most vital organ.  Every time my heart paused, I found myself holding my breath, waiting for it to beat again.

I had visions of her telling me to cut out all caffeine, to go on a special, horrible diet, or that I needed heart surgery.  I'm not sure which would have been the worst option.  Ha!

I'm very happy that it's nothing.  That my heart will reset itself all on its own and go back to normal.  And I will never, ever eat seafood of any kind again.  Hubby will just have to be content with getting his seafood fix when he goes out for lunch with his coworkers.

I never gave my heart so much thought before it started acting funny.  I just took it for granted.  Yup, it's there and it's still working.  Likewise, I often take my spiritual heart for granted.  I asked Jesus into it a long time ago so I'm all set.  No need to address those other scriptures that tell me to purify my heart, to get a new heart from God, to have a heart that is moldable.  My heart is just fine--until it's not.  That's when God smacks me upside the head and says, "Lisa, your heart is broken.  Lets fix it."  It's not always pleasant rooting out the sin in my life, but my heart is so much better and prettier once He's done.  

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