I thought all of my kids were finally tucked in bed last night. I turned on my latest Netflix binge-show, settled in with my fuzzy blanket, and 3 minutes into the show I hear footsteps coming my way. One of my kids were not in bed. (Insert eye roll) I nearly unleashed "exasperated mom" on said kid, until I looked at her eyes. They were sad and a little red. Hmm.
"Mom, I need to tell you something. Lately I've been wondering if God is even real."
She went on to mirror many of my own thoughts that I have been wrestling with over the past 6 months. Which is how I could look at her with absolute love and say, "I understand. A few weeks ago I said the exact same thing to Dad because I was mad at God for not taking away my pain. I started to wonder if He existed or if He was just man made. Sometimes when we are struggling, or busy, or when God isn't answering us in the way we want, we can find ourselves wrestling with God being real."
I continued, "I will tell you what Dad told me. If you have a friend that you stop talking to for weeks, months, or years, what happens to the relationship? It fades. If you want to feel closer to God, you need to start praying and talking to Him. You need to tell Him how you feel and what is really going on. None of it is a surprise to God, and even if you tell Him you're questioning His existence, He will never stop loving you."
She told me that she wanted a relationship with God like her teacher has. Her teacher who, like my mom, just finished chemotherapy for breast cancer. Through the experience, her teacher shared about how much closer she grew to God, how God was right there with her through it all. (How awesome that my child's teacher shared that with the class. All these kids who will remember that for years to come and when they hit their own "big struggles" down the road, I pray they remember that and emulate their teacher.)
I said, "Child, lets work on getting to that place without having to go through cancer. Your teacher is an awesome example of a woman who loves God, and you would do well to want to be like her. And your starting point is to start talking to God again. If you spend 10 minutes praying and reading your Bible every morning when you usually read a book, that will get things moving in the right direction."
We prayed together, I asked God to speak to her heart and to remind her that He loves her. She thanked me and went off to bed.
A half hour later, I hear footsteps again and there is said child holding a notebook, eyes red, but this time with a huge smile on her face.
"Mom, isn't it awesome when God tells us exactly what we need to hear?" She read the words that she heard from the Lord to me, about how He loves her, that He knows her, to trust Him, that He holds her in His hands and will never let her go. "Mom, I'm so happy." And then she skipped off to bed.
There are days when my children act almost feral and I wonder what will become of them when they are all grown up and out of my home. Will they remember what their Dad and I have taught them over the years? Will they continue to love Jesus and serve Him all the days of their lives? Will they at least stay out of jail?
Thankfully, there are also moments like last night where you get to witness God working in your child's life in awesome and powerful ways. Where God reminds you once again that He loves your children even more than you do. To trust Him to win their hearts. Just like He seeks to win your own heart.
No comments:
Post a Comment