Come Away With Me...And Breathe

Breathe

by Jonny Diaz

Third cup of joe just to get me through the day

Wanna make the most of time but I feel it slip away

I wonder if there’s something more to this crazy life

I’m busy, busy, busy, and it’s no surprise to see

That I only have time for me, me, me

There’s gotta be something more to this crazy life

I’m hanging on tight to another wild day

When it starts to fall apart in my heart I hear You say just

Breathe, just breathe

Come and rest at My feet

And be, just be

Chaos calls but all you really need

Is to take it in fill your lungs

The Peace of God that overcomes

Just breathe

Let your weary spirit rest

Lay down what’s good and find what’s best

Just breathe

When my kids started school, I had really big plans for the empty time I would suddenly have on my hands.  For a while I considered nursing school, but God led me in a different direction.  Through a God set of circumstances, I am instead serving with a Christian college group leading a small group and mentoring a few girls.  I was all set for a great year.

The first month my kids were in school, I floundered.  I have never had more than a few hours of "open time" on a regular basis in my life.  I went to school, I went to school and worked, then I worked, had babies, quit work to raise the babies and homeschooled.  Translation: I have had very little free time ever.

I went through a period of "empty nest syndrome."  All my life I have had a purpose and goals--do well in school, work at my job to earn money, keep my kids alive, educate them so they aren't dumb.  

When I suddenly found myself without any defined purpose or goal, I  felt useless.  My role went from "full time mom and educator" to "chief cook and bottle washer."  Super glamorous.  

I cried a few tears, moped around the house, started running needless errands, and found anything to do except just sit at home with myself and my cat.  I made myself super busy so I wouldn't have to think about the fact that I no longer had a defined purpose.  So I would stop feeling like a layabout mooching off Hubby.  

Then I went on a women's retreat with my church a few weeks ago.  I didn't want to go even a little bit.  I was feeling very low, unneeded, and unloved.  I seriously wondered if God had stopped loving me because I was no longer "useful."   I was praying for direction and not hearing anything.  In the depths of my heart, I asked myself if God had stopped talking to me because He was mad at me.  

But God is God and He broke through those lies to reach my soul.  I was praying in a room full of people with my eyes closed, and I saw Jesus reach out His hand to me and say, Come away with Me.  I tried but I couldn't.  I wanted to go with Jesus but I was being held back by this heavy suit of burden.  Jesus looked at me, reached out His hand, and unzipped my suit of burden.  I watched as it fell at my feet, a heavy, bulky, ugly suit of worries, fears, burdens, lies.  Jesus reached out His hand a third time and repeated, Come away with Me.  This time I grasped His hand and away we flew.

Today God reminded me of this moment because I needed it.  I was complaining to God, lamenting my troubles and pains that don't seem to be getting any better.  In fact,  for the most part, they have actually gotten worse.  (Last week I changed my name to Job.  Because that is how I felt.)  Then the song Breathe came on the radio, a song I'd never heard before.  It was a direct message from God to me.

I don't pretend to know what God is doing with my life right now.  It looks nothing like my vision for what this year would be.  And a lot of it is uncomfortable or downright painful.  Yet I am holding fast to God's invitation to Come away with Him.  And to: 

Breathe, just breathe

Come and rest at My feet

And be, just be

Chaos calls but all you really need

Is to take it in fill your lungs

The Peace of God that overcomes

Just breathe

Let your weary spirit rest

Lay down what’s good and find what’s best

Just breathe